The Stripper

What to do with this little girl?
Our trip the the store today could not have gone worse...now I say that knowing good and well it probably could have, but I wish it never does. At least William was a wonderful boy and just happily sat on the napkins eating his goldfish. Here is a bit of what happened. To start Claira would NOT wear her shoes, she kept throwing them till one got stuck between the seats in the van and my big belly just wasn't going to let me reach it. So she won that battle and we entered the store with no shoes. I made it to the back of the store (this is where we begin to put items in our cart) and no sooner did I step away to open the milk door and she stood up about to jump! I fought her jumping till the cereal isle and as I broke into a sweat with a screaming child in the cart, I caved again. Nothing was going to keep her in safely so I decided it was safer for us all to have her walk. At this point, William is picking out his cereal, LIFE surprise! surprise!, and I look to see what she is doing and she is NAKED!!! Dress and diaper at her feet! I couldn't help but giggle as I dressed her. Her screams of protest and William scolding her from the cart got a lot of peoples attention. And you know how you go through the store all about the same pace so these poor people had to watch us dress and undress 3 times! One time (not counted in the previous 3) she actually kept the dress on and dropped the diaper. I was half way down the isle before I realized it. She was running toward me doing the naked dance, with the dress on...I looked behind her to to my horror there was her diaper!!! AHRRRR, I had a this point lost the humor in this stripping charade and was getting extremely frustrated. As if she hadn't already been giving me a hard time, we entered the dreaded produce section. She ran strait for the grapes and crawled under the display just out of my reach. From there William and I stood and both watched in horror as she again took her dress off and ate grapes off the floor. EWWWW, seriously how much dirty could a grape get...off Walmarts floor, I pray she doesn't get some thing nasty from those 4 or so grapes she managed to shovel. Now she is once again dressed and we are checking out. Normally neither of my kids are runners so I think very little of letting them out of the cart to make room for food. As soon as I start to load she bolts, William right behind her yelling at her to come back. I asked him to return to the cart and like I said before THANK GOODNESS he was on his best behavior and did as I asked. Claira on the other hand was caught and buckled into the cart as tight as I could make it (she still managed to squirm out of the buckle) and we left the store relieved and with a completely red faced, screaming, pissed off Claira.
When we returned home, I of course brought in the groceries only to find her like this in the living room!

I no sooner got her diaper back on her, put some stuff away and I heard lots of noise coming from the bathroom. There I found...

So now I try to collect myself, get my patient mommy side back and decided to let her go in panties. This worked fine, we went to the potty after 15 minutes then again before dinner, NOTHING ...until...we were about 1/2 way through dinner and she starts squirming saying something with a mouth full of food. Darn it she peed!!! I took her, cleaned her up and now an hour later I think we found a compromise...a pull-up (found one of Wil's leftover overnights).
All I can say is THANK GOODNESS she is asleep now! I don't know how much more I could have taken of her today.

Anyone need a 1 year old?  I know where you can get one for cheap.